I am bored outta my mind
I am so fking bored with my current life.
Really.

I was watching 'Any Given Sunday' yesterday and while watching, had a thought to myself, when was the last time I participate in any competition to win something? High school. That's it. After that no more competition whatsoever. It was all about getting the grades good enough to get my degree and perform enough at work to get 'meeting expectation' work appraisal.

God.

I am bored.


what have i accomplished today? : nothing. I feel empty

if you could have one superpower, what would it be?
Mind reading?
No. I would not be able to handle all the things people are saying about me in their mind.

Fly?
No.

Super strength?
No.

I would choose time-travel.

I would go back in time and tell myself:
1) Don't eat too much
2) Walk everywhere (since I don't want to exercise)
3) Don't apply for credit cards. Buy everything using cash

I would probably make sure my younger self won't meet certain someone or two.
It would be better if I don't get to know them at all and go through life just like that.



Dum Laga Ke Haisha
They say the story that a person wrote says more about the writer. 

Right now, I am watching a Hindi movie titled as above. Hitting pause on the show just to write these. 
Anyway, the premise of the movie you ask? 
The info said 'A marriage is arranged between a slim guy and an overweight girl.'

Never have I seen in any movie where the whole family pressured the son to marry an overweight girl. Of course, the slim guy rejected the whole idea based on the size of the girl. But his father was adamant that the slim guy must marry the overweight girl. The mother even said, 'It's the food nowadays (that is causing the girl to become overweight)'. Haha. Does this even happen in real life?
His aunt said 'If the girl is attractive, we have to buy her makeup'. So he had to marry her so that he can make a life-long savings from all the money that he would save up from having to buy her makeup? Really? Is that how you persuade someone to get married?? Turned out, the whole family wanted him to marry the girl because she would be working as a teacher and therefore help the family to earn their living. 
Figures.

This is just 10 minutes into the story. Another 2 hours to go.

Interesting.

Gonna continue watching to see how this story would develop.

Hitting 'play'.

what have i accomplished today? :  I ate rice a lot. like 10 cups lot


Real or not real?
Wow it's almost end of 2015 already.

Why am I back here writing on this old page of mine? 
Cos I have nothing else to do. Or no one else to do for that matter. *insert bitter laugh here*
It's Friday night and I am still at the office. Alone.
Not doing work though. 
God, if I am doing work at this moment, alone here, just kill me already. 

Soooooooo, let's stop for a moment and take stock of my life so far.

Love life. Nonewhatsoever

Work. Gone from good to mehhh to i-don't-know-what-the-fuck-is-wrong-with-me-why-can't-i-just-do-the-work-like-before. 

Family. Great. Although Abah has started on dialysis 3 weeks ago, I think he is feeling better now. Mama is already retired from work for a little over a month, but I think she is still busy getting involved with the school's activities. Also, she started teaching mengaji to elders at the mosque near to our house. My grandma was so happy when she heard about this that she cried. Adek is in amidst of preparing for her wedding which will be on 28th Feb next year. And Alip is graduating next weekend. So all is good.

Friends. Great. I spent time with geng #muahciked every now and then. And geng #teamjanda, almost everytime Hasna in town. Friends in the office are great. Though it is sad to lose another member of #mangostickyricegang. First it was Sarahah who by the way just gave birth to a baby boy. Yay for her. Today, it's kak Dilla. Resigned from work to spend more time with her family, giving her best to what matters most which is family. 

Financial. Bad. When can I be free from my debt? Credit card debt to be precise. Damn you Lazada! and online games! and my shopaholic nature!

What else? hmmmmmm

Self-improvement. Well currently back dieting to reduce weight. Started off at 149 kg. Now 141 kg. In 4 weeks. And I passed Paper 1 CIA. 

So what's next ? Where do I see myself next year?

I'll cover that in my next post 
(mesti korg rasa aku akan update lagi setahun lagi kan? hahahahahah)

xoxo,
fooshan



The Happiness Project
It is usually our own wrongdoings that makes us unhappy.

I am unhappy.

Where did I go wrong?

What can I do to fix this?